Pay no attention to the street names
- There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.
- Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda: Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth ...
- So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D ...
- If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut,Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.
- If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
- Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End.
- Eastie is East Boston. The North End is east of the West End.
- The West End and Scollay Square are no more, a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
- Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
- If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
- Soda is CLUB SODA.
- Pop is Dad.
- When we mean Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
- The smallest beer is a pint.
- Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
- If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.
- It's not a trash can; it's a barrel.
- It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
- It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
- They're not franks; they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.
Things not to do in and around Boston:
- Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).
- Don't sleep in the Common.
- Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day
Things you should know:
- There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new).
- We call it Route 128. They call it I-95 and I-93.
- The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T" and it doesn't run all night.
(fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk)
You're from Boston if:
- You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic and to 'J' walk.
- You think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).
- You think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heatwave.
- You refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
- You always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and on-coming traffic always expects it.
- Everything in town is "a five-minute walk."
- You believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
- You think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
- You think that the Kennedys are misunderstood.
- War does not determine whose right; war determines who's left.