Dear Ann Landers:
I am an inner city English teacher, and my students are reading George Orwell's "1984." I am having a difficult time explaining communism, socialism and
fascism to my students without giving a full-blown, time-consuming history lesson. I recall you printed a humorous column some time ago explaining these
concepts using cows as examples. Will you please print it again for my students? I'm sure it will kick-start a lively class discussion. I'd appreciate
your help. -- A Teacher in Mississippi
Dear Mississippi Teacher:
Thank you for asking. It's an "oldie," but a "goldie." Here it is:
| Socialism: | You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor. |
| Communism: | You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk. |
| Fascism: | You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it. |
| Nazism: | You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows. |
| Anarchism: | You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow. |
| Capitalism: | You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull. |
| Surrealism: | You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons. |
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