Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this. The truth is that when you're not around I've been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently and I know that that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

Regards, Richard

Neighbor's response:

Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard, killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.

Second text message:

Hi, Fred Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.

Regards, Richard