Top Ten Country-Western songs

  9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

  8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

  7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

  6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

  5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

  4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

  3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

  2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

  1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.