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  • "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

    – Heather Whitestone, Miss Alabama 1994, in response to the Miss USA contest question,
        "If you could live forever, would you and why?"

  • "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

    – Mariah Carey

  • "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

    – Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

  • "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

    – Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

  • "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

    – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

  • "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

    – Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

  • "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

    – A congressional candidate in Texas.

  • "Half this game is ninety percent mental."

    – Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

  • "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

    – Al Gore, Vice-President

  • "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

    – Dan Quayle

  • "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

    – Lee Iacocca

  • "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

    – Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

  • "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

    – Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

  • "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

    – Bill Clinton, President

  • "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

    – Al Gore, Vice-President

  • "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

    – Keppel Enderbery

  • "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

    – Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

  • "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, if they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

    – Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

  • "The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."

    – Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"

  • "The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve disorder."

    – Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic convention

  • "If you've seen one redwood tree, you've seen them all."

    – Forestry expert Ronald Reagan

  • "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."

    – Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

  • "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people that make them unsafe."

    – Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo

  • "The Internet is a great way to get on the net."

    – Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole

  • "It is bad luck to be superstitious."

    – Andrew Mathis

  • "It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."

    – Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces

  • "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

    – Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

  • "They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."

    – Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

  • "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

    – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

  • "When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results."

    – Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

  • "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

    – Former French President Charles de Gaulle

  • "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

    – A congressional candidate in Texas

  • "Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."

    – Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

  • "A billion here, a billion there — sooner or later it adds up to real money."

    – Everett Dirksen

  • "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

    – John Wayne

  • "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

    – General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam

  • "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

    – Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund.
        He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

  • "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."

    – Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin